Fantasist's Scroll

As you may have guessed, this is not a serious article.

Look, it’s Friday and nothing can be all that serious on a Friday, right? Well, despite the fact that the article is called How To Write a Best Selling Fantasy Novel, it is NOT serious. It is a joke. But, it’s a good joke, so click on the link.
Now, if you’ve been around the writing game for a bit, especially in the fantasy end of things, you’ve seen jokes like this before. For you, like me, it’s not a joke. For anyone who wants to make a living in the crazy game of speculative fiction writing, this is deadly serious. If I want to make it as a serious writer, I absolutely can NOT make any of the mistakes that are suggested in the article. On the other hand, it is a handy guide for what NOT to do anymore. Oh, for the good old days when that all still worked….

Anyway, no matter how you slice it, the article is worth reading. And, after all, it is a Friday.

Did someone take my idea?

Or is it just so, so lame that more than one person thought of it? Okay, let me explain. See, I’ve had this idea for a fantasy fiction setting that I called the Five Kingdoms for several years. In fact, I’ve been talking about it so long that I don’t even remember how far back it goes. But, the other day when I was looking through some stuff on CafePress, I found a book called The Sorean, which has, right on the cover, a reference to “Tales from the Five Kingdoms”. I laughed so hard I almost ruptured something. The whole thing just totally cracked me up.

I knew that, sooner or later, this kind of thing would happen when CafePress started selling books. Of course, I figured that there’d be plenty of folks selling books that they’d taken from Project Gutenberg, and there are, but some of the other stuff surprised me a bit. A pleasant surprise was the Ethereal Press Language series. As someone who’s “into” constructed languages, these books were really interesting to me. I’m not sure that I’d ever buy one, but I think it’s great that someone is making them.
I also found more “serious” books, like The Book Of AisthC*tikos, which advertises itself for the “serious student of the occult”. So, all you lame posers can piss off! This book isn’t for you!
The other thing that was fun to browse through was the CafePress music offerings. Now, to be fair, some of these are probably really, really good, but undiscovered bands. On the other hand, some of them are just funny. My favorite “WTF” music cd was Shut Up The Devil by King MC. The devil is totally whack, yo!

And, of course, there is my very own Ye Old Wizard’s Shoppe, now with more panties. It’s really almost a joke, but if anyone ever buys anything, and I mean anything, I might just pay for a “premium” shop and do more with it. Anyway, I guess I may just be forced to give up on the Five Kingdoms and move on. After all, I wouldn’t want to infringe on any market right that The Sorean might now have. (Yes, I’m kidding.)

Wow, for a “fantasy” website, I’ve been talking about science a lot lately!

In particular, space science. Well, here’s another one for you… According to this article on CNN, the International Space Station is filling with junk. There’s a problem that a lot of science-fiction writers forget to talk about. You’re out in space with no where to pile up all the garbage or broken stuff, but you can’t keep it laying around. What do you do with it? Well, at the moment, the ISS is keeping it in a “spare” air lock. Eventually, it will have to be disposed of, but, until that can be done safely, it has to be stored. An interesting problem, isn’t it?

As a writer, how would you deal with that issue? Can you make that into an interesting story? Why not try?

Hey, I always like free!

I’ve had a PalmIIIc for years and years. Originally, I got it with the idea that I could use it to play games and read books, too. The problem was that there just weren’t a lot of books available in a Palm readable format. Problem solved: ManyBooks.net. Not only do they have literally thousands of books in multiple formats, including several for the Palm, but they’re all free!
Well, they do ask for donations, but it’s not absolutely required. I’ve just started to explore their titles, but they seem to have quite a few classics, so it’s worth checking out. Besides, it’s Friday, what else are you going to do?

(This entry also appeared last week on my other blog, Diary of a Network Geek.)

The Indians are making a moonshot.

No, not the American Indians! The Indian Indians! According to this article on XinhuaNet, in English, the Indian space agency is planning an unmanned moon mission, called Chandrayan. Chandrayan is expected to take place in 2007-08 if everything proceeds as planned, which it seems to be. If they do it, India will be on the cusp of being a real world power on the scale of the US, China, and Russia. As few ethnicities as we’ve seen in science-fiction, other than WASPs, that is, it’s interesting to me that the Chinese and Indians have become so space oriented lately. I really hope that writers take note of this and alter their views accordingly. One of the notable exceptions has been China Mountain Zhang by Maureen F. McHugh and Chung Kuo: The Middle Kingdom, which is the first in a series by the same name, all by David Wingrove. I’d love to see more of it.

This was a GREAT book!

Okay, regular readers of this blog know that I’m an amatuer writer with delusions of granduer. But, for those of you who are new, I want to write. What that means, though, is that I’m always reading books to help me with my writing, in one way or another. This past week I read Creating Short Fiction : The Classic Guide to Writing Short Fiction, by Damon Knight. This book is an all-around, kick-ass writing book. Damon Knight, though famous for his science-fiction writing, really hits all the bases in this one book. He covers, if lightly, everything from the creative process to editing to submitting your work. If it relates to writing, it’s in there.
I admit, I got this book because it was: a) on sale, b) short, and c) written by Damon Knight, who’s a great science-fiction author. But, this book only touches on science-fiction, as well as several other genres. Mainly this is just a really good book on writing short fiction. And, let’s face it, most authors start in short ficition before they get anyone to look at their longer work. It’s just how it is. So, writing short fiction is something that almost every fantasy or science-fiction writer will do at some point in their career.

So, if you’re looking for a refresher, or if you’re just getting started writing short ficiton, this is a great place to start. In fact, I got so excited about this book, I wrote a “So you’d like to…” guide over at Amazon.com, called So you’d like to write “speculative fiction”. Check it out!

Today is Frank Herbert’s Birthday.

Of course, we haven’t had him with us since 1986, the year I graduated from high-school, but his work lives on. Mr. Herbert is primarily known for his seminal work, Dune, and the Dune books that followed. Though, interestingly enough, he never intended to write sequels.
Often refered to as the science-fiction Lord of the Rings, Dune and the books that followed detail an amazingly rich science-ficiton culture. The novels are some of the first to have detailed political and sociological sub-plots, not to mention ecological sub-plots! The way Mr. Herbert used religion in his work is quite interesting as well. In a genre that often avoids discussing religion, he explored the topic in detail and with a depth that was personally inspiring.

There hasn’t been anyone else quite like Frank Herbert and I am in awe of the ways in which he influenced the genre.

Okay, this tickled my funny-bone.

This website, A Primer in SF Xenolinguistics, really made me chuckle. It’s really a what NOT to do guide. In a nutshell, it lists all the things that begining writers make when dealing with language in science-fiction and fantasy. Actually, it’s a bit frightening how many people who should know better make these mistakes, too, but I digress.
It’s a fun read and, heaven help me, it’s informative, too.

Hey, it’s Friday, go check it out!