Fantasist's Scroll

A conlang without a grammar is just a cipher.

Think about that for a minute. If you’re just transposing words, you haven’t created a new language so much as you’ve created a new code. Maybe that’s all you’re after. If so, that’s fine and you can stop reading now, but if you want more than that, think about your native language and your conlang for a minute.

Still with me? Great. I can make up words, either by hand or by machine, but making a grammar takes a lot more thought and work. Last month, I was reading the blog over at Langmaker.com, the Ultimate Constructed Language Resource which is maintained by Jeffrey Henning. He had several links to conlang grammars there, including: The Sixteen Rules of Esperanto Grammar, Syntax for Artificial Languages, and A Training Device for Translation Theory and Practice. Any of them are good places to start looking at what goes into a grammar. If you’re a little more advanced than that, and feeling brave, you can try reading Describing Morphosyntax : A Guide for Field Linguists. But, as good as it is, I have to warn you, this is NOT for he casual reader or the easily intimidated. It is a daunting book that damn near put me into a coma! But, if you can make it through this bad boy, you will have a really good grasp of what can go into a language’s grammar. You will also be able to endure incredible, mind-numbing torture as dosed out by mothers-in-law. Or, you will be a gibbering idiot. Either way, it’s all great fuel for conlanging.
I often find myself getting stuck in the “research phase” of my many creative projects. Sometimes, I get so caught up in the research that I never get the project started. This is where I’m at with my conlanging. I need to get past that. I hope that the inspiration from Langmaker, and Jeffery Henning will help me get started on those projects. As they say on the street, ‘aint nothing to but to do it. So, let’s all take some inspiration from those links up above and get started on that conlang that we’ve been putting off.

As you may have guessed, this is not a serious article.

Look, it’s Friday and nothing can be all that serious on a Friday, right? Well, despite the fact that the article is called How To Write a Best Selling Fantasy Novel, it is NOT serious. It is a joke. But, it’s a good joke, so click on the link.
Now, if you’ve been around the writing game for a bit, especially in the fantasy end of things, you’ve seen jokes like this before. For you, like me, it’s not a joke. For anyone who wants to make a living in the crazy game of speculative fiction writing, this is deadly serious. If I want to make it as a serious writer, I absolutely can NOT make any of the mistakes that are suggested in the article. On the other hand, it is a handy guide for what NOT to do anymore. Oh, for the good old days when that all still worked….

Anyway, no matter how you slice it, the article is worth reading. And, after all, it is a Friday.

Do you journal?

I have in the past, in the “real world”, that is. Blogging is a journaling of a sort, but not the kind that I mean. When someone asks me if I journal, they’re asking me if I record my innermost thoughts on paper. They’re asking me if I write to excise the demons of my heart, mind and soul by opening a vein and pouring ink onto the pages of a book that no one else will see. As I mentioned, I have done that in the past. I often toy with the idea of starting again.
And, I have to admit, I lust after a particular notebook to journal in: Moleskine. If you haven’t seen these gems, find them. Fondle one and you see why anyone who has done any kind of journaling has longed to have their words recorded in these notebooks. The paper is creamy and soaks up the ink. The black, oil-skin covers feel soothing in your hand as you open them, inviting you to write. You can imagine Hemingway or Joyce or even Wilde pouring out their thoughts and adventures into these beauties. Moleskines make you want to journal. So, the other day when I was searching around for things on the web and found them again… Well, let’s just say that I started to think about journaling again.
If you’re looking for an excuse to journal, these would be it.
Moleskine Large Ruled (lined) Notebook
MOLESKINE Large Ruled (lined) Notebook – quantity 2
MOLESKINE Pocket Ruled (lined) Notebook
MOLESKINE Pocket Plain (no lines) Notebook – quantity 2

Go take a look, it’s worth it.

Did someone take my idea?

Or is it just so, so lame that more than one person thought of it? Okay, let me explain. See, I’ve had this idea for a fantasy fiction setting that I called the Five Kingdoms for several years. In fact, I’ve been talking about it so long that I don’t even remember how far back it goes. But, the other day when I was looking through some stuff on CafePress, I found a book called The Sorean, which has, right on the cover, a reference to “Tales from the Five Kingdoms”. I laughed so hard I almost ruptured something. The whole thing just totally cracked me up.

I knew that, sooner or later, this kind of thing would happen when CafePress started selling books. Of course, I figured that there’d be plenty of folks selling books that they’d taken from Project Gutenberg, and there are, but some of the other stuff surprised me a bit. A pleasant surprise was the Ethereal Press Language series. As someone who’s “into” constructed languages, these books were really interesting to me. I’m not sure that I’d ever buy one, but I think it’s great that someone is making them.
I also found more “serious” books, like The Book Of AisthC*tikos, which advertises itself for the “serious student of the occult”. So, all you lame posers can piss off! This book isn’t for you!
The other thing that was fun to browse through was the CafePress music offerings. Now, to be fair, some of these are probably really, really good, but undiscovered bands. On the other hand, some of them are just funny. My favorite “WTF” music cd was Shut Up The Devil by King MC. The devil is totally whack, yo!

And, of course, there is my very own Ye Old Wizard’s Shoppe, now with more panties. It’s really almost a joke, but if anyone ever buys anything, and I mean anything, I might just pay for a “premium” shop and do more with it. Anyway, I guess I may just be forced to give up on the Five Kingdoms and move on. After all, I wouldn’t want to infringe on any market right that The Sorean might now have. (Yes, I’m kidding.)

The new trend in cars?

Smaller than a Mini-Cooper and more fuel efficient, too, the Smart line from Mercedes may be the next wave in car technology. According to this article on Wired News, the Fortwo is a new breed of car that is not only high-tech, but “cool”, too. Made from primarily recycled plastics and designed to be super fuel-efficient, boasting up to 70 miles per gallon. The car itself is tiny. In fact, it is almost literally half the size of a Hummer and two Fortwo’s can park in a regular parking spot quite comfortably. You can squeeze in three, if you park sideways. Is it the car of the future? Possibly. Of course, we won’t know in the US until sometime in 2006, which is when they plan on breaking in over here. Hmm, can I wait that long? Well, in the mean-time, go take a look at this what Wired News has to say about the Smart Fortwo.

I’ve always loved these.

I always used to get a “Word A Day ” calendar for my desk, because I loved the idea that I was building my vocabulary. Of course, I probably never used those words in actual conversation, but it was fun learning about them anyway. Well, if you like that sort of thing, too, then the A Word A Day site is for you. You can sign up to recieve, via e-mail, a word a day, just like the book or calendar. How cool is that?!

Anyway, it was cool enough for my Friday Fun Link. Go check it out.

Wow, for a “fantasy” website, I’ve been talking about science a lot lately!

In particular, space science. Well, here’s another one for you… According to this article on CNN, the International Space Station is filling with junk. There’s a problem that a lot of science-fiction writers forget to talk about. You’re out in space with no where to pile up all the garbage or broken stuff, but you can’t keep it laying around. What do you do with it? Well, at the moment, the ISS is keeping it in a “spare” air lock. Eventually, it will have to be disposed of, but, until that can be done safely, it has to be stored. An interesting problem, isn’t it?

As a writer, how would you deal with that issue? Can you make that into an interesting story? Why not try?

Well, I guess it’s serious!

At least, the US Government thinks it’s enough of a possibility that they need to regulate space tourism, according to this article on CNN. That’s probably a good thing, I think. I’m all for free, open space, but a little bit of regulation for public safety is probably a good thing. Besides, how can you have a profitable industry without some government regulation to contend with?
In any case, I thought it was interesting that they’re looking into it. It’s nice that our government is forward thinking for a change, eh?