Fantasist's Scroll

How to Be a Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!!
Yes, this is a real book. No, it is not serious. However, if you’re designing a villain, it’s not a bad place to start. No, seriously! Here in one book are the collected cliches of bad guys. Everything from talking when you should be shooting to the “Rube Goldberg” killing machine. You name the tragic mistake that any and all James Bond villains have made and it’s in this book somewhere. So, in a humorous way, it’s a guidebook for what NOT to do when creating your literary villain. In fact, part of the book is a warning to up-and-coming super villains on what to watch out for in heroes and the big mistakes that the “average” villain makes that costs them their victory.

TSR, er, sorry Wizards of the Coast has a new “educational” campaign.
Now, they’ve recruited librarians to the cause. No, really, they have a new program called “Afternoon Adventures with Dungeons and Dragons“. It’s a program designed to give librarians free materials to learn and teach kids D&D after school and then to use that as a jumping off point to more literary adventures.
Actually, it’s not a bad deal. As far as I’m concerned, anything that gets more kids interested in reading or even just going to the library after school is not half bad. I know my own reading and love of the written word was very much fueled by the same things that drove my attraction to D&D. Even today, though I haven’t played in years, I have the new, “Third Edition” rules on my shelf. Of course, I have other, much more obscure games, too, but D&D was pretty much the start of it all for me. (DragonQuest almost was, but that’s another story…)

Anyway, it was a great story to read and brought back all kinds of fond memories. So, in a sad, middle-aged, nostalgic sort of way, it’s the perfect fun link for a Friday.
(And, yes, this is also appearing on my other blog.)

Okay, this may be fun for a limited number of people…
But, I’ve “invented” a generator based on the tables found in the d20 Past supplement for TSR’s, er, Wizards of the Coast’s d20 Modern Roleplaying Game. It’s from the section on pulp heros. Specifically, it’s the table for randomly generating inventions for your pulp-age scientist. Now, fully automated by yours truly.
So, what are you waiting for? Go whip up some Pulp Science-Fiction Inventions!

Aw, c’mon, it’s Friday, what have you got to lose?

Now, this is what I call “assault and battery”!
Ever wanted to build your very own trebuchet? How about a mangonel? Well, now you can! Just head over to How To Build A Catapult and go nuts. They’ve got lots of plans using different materials and even different sizes of devices. There are a bunch of links to other resources, too, including a link to CatapultKits, where, obviously, you can buy kits and save a lot of hassle.

Anyway, it’s a fun, if somewhat violent, hobby and it’s Friday, so click the links!

No wonder I never got paid for this!
Apparently, Rob Kuntz never did finish the planned modules that I did maps for in Campaign Cartographer. And, of course, I did them knowing I would not get paid until they were published. So, since they were never published, I was never paid. Now, apparently, he’s selling his entire stash of gaming stuff, including the Barbarous Coast Maps.
Even though I have them posted here on my site, Rob retains all rights to them. Insist on getting them signed, if you can manage it, since, in my opinion, that’s the only way the printed maps are really worth anything.
Gaming is a tough business and I’m sorry that it looks like Rob has hit a money crunch and needs to sell his stuff. Go check it out and buy something, if you can. He’s a great guy and I’m sorry to see him having to do this.
Good luck, Rob.

I need strange, metaphorical symbols.
I’ve been thinking about surreal imagery lately. Things like the anthropomorphic caterpillar from Disney’s version of “Alice in Wonderland” and the dancing mushrooms from “Fantasia” keep popping into my head as wonderful symbols of some strange story that’s hiding just below the surface of the “real” story. And, too, William S. Burrough’s work with the exterminator/giant cockroach theme has been a frightening inspiration as well. Not to mention the “bug” in Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis”. So, I’ve been thinking about doing something similar. Taking a list of semi-random symbols and imagery and mashing it into a story. And, I’m going for something very Dali-eseque, but in a literary sense. Of course, the challenge is to get the symbols to use. The stranger, the better, I think.
And, now, gentle readers, here is my plea: Give me your wildest ideas in the comments. Suggest the strangest, most disturbing, funniest, most unusual symbolic references you can think of. As long as we keep it “family friendly”, anything goes. But, you have to give me their “true” meaning, as well. For example, “A giant, talking, anthropomorphic caterpillar => The main character’s SuperEgo”. (Actually, that may just be where I start…) So, there we are.
I’m open to suggestions!

Remember this game?
I’ve talked about it here before. I am the Holy Empire of Megaria in the NationStates game. I saw this months ago, played for a bit, and then quit. Well, I went back recently and tried to sign into my country’s account, but was told that it was deleted. So, naturally, I tried to revive Megaria, but, alas, I could not. But, then, I saw that I could have the old gal brought back from the dead! And, so I have.
In any case, if you haven’t played with this, go check it out. It’s really sort of fun, in a geeky way. And, if you come, look for the “Ghyll” region. I thought I’d go ahead and create that space for all my fellow Ghyll scholars to join, should they start to play.
Enjoy!

I haven’t been a total slacker.
I have worked on other neato tools for the site, honest! In fact, I whipped together a fun, little PERL script that generates funny sounding full and proper names. Oddly enough, I call it the “Funny” Proper Name Generator. Originally, I made it for participants in the Ghyll Encyclopedia Game, but it seemed worthy enough for public consumption.
So, if you’re writting a funny fantasy piece set in vaguely Edwardian or Victorian times, this is a great tool for you. Or, you could just use it to make names to fill in on web forms…. Use your imagination.

Aw, go ahead, it’s Friday! Have fun!