Fantasist's Scroll

Yes, actual castles that are actually for sale.
A couple of weeks ago, I saw a beta for a “social shopping network” called Wists.  Now, to be honest, I have no freaking idea what that means, but I bring it up because I found it, via bOING bOING, when it coughed up a list of castles for sale. Yeah, real, genuine castles that people can buy, if they have the money.  Honestly, if I had the cash, or even the credit, I’d snap one of these suckers up just for the joy of living in a castle.

Anyway, it’s Friday, and even shlubs like us deserve to dream a little, so go ahead, click the link.

The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, fifth edition, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny:

Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 5
11. I entered the probability equation into my TI-89 Titanium Graphing calculator and it predicted you would go out with me, see! (hold up calculator)
10. What’s a nice girl like you doing on an unsecured webcam like this?
9. Can I have a large coffee with sugar and your phone number, please?
8. Do you prefer the static or expanding universe theory more? Because, since I first saw you, I’m expanding.
7. That Princess Leia slave girl outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
6. You make me want to be an honest man, and register all my shareware.
5. Yes, that is a real light saber replica in my pocket, but I’m still happy to see you.
4. You’re so beautiful, I’d take my Steve Austin action figure out of its original packaging for you.
3. Do you want to come back to my place, and we can prank call George Lucas?
2. I don’t mean to disturb you, but Heisenberg’s Uncertainly Principle said I already did that by observing you.
1. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven, because p=mv and your velocity after falling that far would be incredible.

And, that’s the last of them folks. Unless, of course, you all want to shoot me some new ones!

If you have dogs, you have got to see this!
You may have seen what you think of as fancy dog cookies in PetSmart. You know, the ones that are shaped like bones, but have frosting on them. But, I am here to tell you these are low rent compared to what the nice people at Pink Poodle Gourmet and Design have. I mean, go look at these things and you’ll see. They look almost too good to give to your dog. (Sorry, Hilda.) They’re better looking, and tasting, than a lot of cookies made for people. And, yes, before you get all wierded out by the fact that I ate dog cookies, they are made from all human-edible ingredients. They’re also quite tasty. At least, all the ones I’ve tried personally are, but I haven’t risked any liver flavored ones yet. They do sell from the website, but, you might want to find a local supplier so you don’t have to deal with shipping. (You can sniff them out at their webpage.)

Okay, okay, you caught me. This is actually a shameless plug for the darling woman that I’ve been seeing. This amazing lady has run her own business for more than two years and paid all her bills with it. Obviously, she works very, very hard at her business and her product really is amazing. I mean, I understand the rudiments of making a cookie, dog cookies even, but what she does… Well, it’s the difference between me building with Lincoln Logs and her building 30 storey sky scrapers. Really, I cannot urge you enough to go check out her work: Pink Poodle Gourmet and Design And, no, this is not a bribe to get more pie. Though, it’d be well worth it. Her pie is delicious!

The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, fourth edition, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny:

Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 4
11. I have so much love to give you’ll have to pipe it through more.
10. Did you make a Google Bomb? Whatever I search for, it’s you I find.
9. Do you work for a TelCom? Because I bet you’d be good at pulling cable.
8. I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up.
7. Would you like to play Scrabble with me? I am tired of playing with myself.
6. You compute me.
5. Girl, I wish I was your differential, because then I’d be touching all your curves.
4. But enough about me, let’s talk about mu.
3. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.
2. You’ve stolen the ASCII to my heart.
1. You must’ve been made by Intel to be that hot!

And, just as a side note, if you’re in Houston, female, over the age of twenty-one and any of these would work on you, drop me a line! 😉

Today is William Gibson’s Birthday!

For those of you who have been hiding under a rock, or have been freshly cloned, William Gibson is the primary progenitor of the cyberpunk movement. He’s generally credited with coining the term “cyberspace” and popularizing a somewhat more realistic, if somewhat bleak, view of the future.
He also ran away to Canada in 1968 to avoid the draft. Which is the only bad thing I can say about him. I otherwise admire his work and thought processes. Certainly his literature is beyond compare. I admire his work very much and occasionally will reread some of his short stories, just to capture the feel of his prose.

Anyway, celebrate his birthday with a little science-fiction in thanks for what he’s done for the genre.

The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, second edition, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny )and as they appeared on my other blog):

Geek Pick Up Lines: Part 2
11. You had me at “Hello World.”
10. Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
9. You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.
8. By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
7. Jedi Mind Trick: “This is the geek you’re looking for.” *waves hand*
6. You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.
5. Have you ever googled yourself?
4. How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
3. With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
2. What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this when there’s a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.
1. I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.

The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny:

Geek Pick-up Lines
11. Tell me of this thing you humans call *dramatic pause* love.
10. If you turn me down now, I will become more drunk than you can possibly imagine.
9. They don’t call me Bones because I’m a doctor.
8. Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a wretched hive of scum and villany like this?
6. You must be Windows 95 because you gots me so unstable.
5. My ‘up-time’ is better than BSD.
4. I can tell by your emoticons that you’re looking for some company.
3. Is that an iPod mini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.
2. Want to see my Red Hat?
1. If you won’t let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can hear the moans and groans from here. Hey, have a few more drinks and they’ll start to get funny. At least, that’s my working theory.
(And, yes, these were posted on my other blog first.)

It’s almost New Year’s Eve, so I thought a link to a New Year’s Resolution Generator would be appropriate.
Yes, I coded it and popped it onto my other site. Originally, I did it to try and cheer up two special ladies who were having a rough holiday season. Honestly, I don’t know that it helped, but at least it kept my PERL CGI skills sharp and, I think, it’s a little bit of fun. And, yeah, the probabilities are weighted toward tequila drinking and kissing strangers. Hey, I’m single, it’s almost New Year’s Eve and if I can’t slant things in my favor, what’s the point of knowing a programming language at all?
Anyway, don’t take it too seriously and have a happy and safe New Year’s celebration!