Fantasist's Scroll

Actually, to be more specific, 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army.

I cannot believe I’ve never posted this as a Friday Fun Link. This is a list of 213 things that a soldier was either specifically told he could not do, or that he heard another soldier told that he could not do. And, it’s funny. Every last one of the 213 things is funny. In fact, they get more funny the more you consider them.
Some of my favorites include:
7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with “I recently had an experience I just had to write you about….”
179. On Army documents, my race is not “Other”.
203. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.

Now, it’s Friday, so why not go read the rest? And follow the links he’s got there to support the troops. They need it now as much as they ever have.
Have a great Friday!

"When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy."

Thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you?

Nope, but I was so in a turkey haze that I had a hard time coming up with good links.
Speaking of turkey, if you have enough leftovers, you can try Leftover Turkey Gumbo. It sounds delicious! And, next year, if you’re into killing your own, try Season Shot, brought to you via Boing Boing. Yes, it’s actually seasoning filled shotgun shells. No idea how well they work, but I love the idea.

I suppose I should mention my host’s delicious, hot, spicy nuts from yesterday, especially since his fiance insisted that I try them, but, I think I’ll wait for the recipe before I share.
Until then, I’m off to the movies!  (I know, I know, I duplicated this from Diary of a Network Geek, but I’m running late!)

I know, I was a little late with this today, but I’ve been busy. With a girl. Yeah, I know, who would have thought, right? Not having the same kind of luck? Then, my geeky readers, I’ve got just the thing for you: The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, third edition, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny:

Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 3
11. I’m attracted to you so much that scientists will begin to doubt the Theory of Relativity.
10. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this?
9. Resistance is futile.
8. No matter how I sort things, you’ll always be first.
7. No, that’s not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.
6. I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.
5. I’d switch to emacs for you.
4. You put the SPARC in my workstation.
3. If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.
2. We’re like SLI. We’re great alone, but we’d be so much better together.
1. You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.

Hey, they just keep on getting better, don’t they? Well, there are more coming, but, I like doling them out over time. You know, to build the anticipation!
Happy Friday!

Well, it’s my birthday, too!
No, seriously, it’s my birthday. And, look, I could copy and paste everything I wrote in my other blog about this blessed event, but I’m too lazy, so I’ll just link to it.

Why do people search for some of this stuff?
Okay, I get why people would be looking for “lucy liu porn” or “mariska hargitay porn”, but what makes them think they’re going to find it here? Last month, my number one hit search term was “lucy liu porn”. Doesn’t anyone search for “fantasy cartography” and find my site anymore? Or “conlang generator”? Always back to the porn. Sadly, it does increase hits and my Googlerank. Ah, well, there’s no accounting for it, I guess. As P.T. Barnum once said, “No one ever got rich overestimating the American people.”

Did I mention that I’ve turned comments back on?
I probably haven’t but since my last upgrade to WordPress v1.5, I’ve got a new comment moderation system that kills 99.999% of all spam. So, I went and re-enabled comments. Not that I post that much that folks would comment on here, but still, it’s the thought. All of which means that both of you reading this blog can comment now. 🙂

"If I were beautiful like you, I'd have so many friends I could hurt one and I wouldn't have to make amends."
   --Joydrop, "Beautiful Like Me"