Fantasist's Scroll

Oy!  I don’t have the energy to do two posts these days, so head over to Diary of a Network Geek and Meet Cletus!

No, nothing new about my health.

Just some fun/strange news stories from the past week or so.
First, apparently, some political unrest in Africa is going to cause a world chocolate shortage. Yikes! (Actually, if you read the article, it’s more likely to cause prices to go up, slightly, because manufacturers have likely taken some of these problems into account.)
Then, in an impressive variation of “Man Bites Dog”, there was the story about a teacher being “reprimanded” for biting a student. But, before you decry the sad state of our proessional educators, the poor man, who happened to be the wrestling coach, was being attacked by several of his wrestlers who were trying to give him a wedgie. The kids got, basically, a scolding and were otherwise off scott-free. But, the assualted teacher got into trouble. That is what’s wrong with our education system today. Those kids should have been brought up on charges! Damn psycho-jock brats!
Thirdly, here’s a news story that proves what I’ve been telling my mother for years: it’ snot a mess, it’s my system. Apparently, there is a direct link to a messy desk and higher productivity after all. See?! All this time I was right! HA!

And, as a bit of a bonus, here’s something for all the folks thinking about getting married soon: How to Tell that the Honeymoon is Over. In short, to summarize the article, you know your new marriage has taken a turn for the worse when your new spouse tries to run you over in the car. It’s a sure sign.
And, on a more personal note, yesterday was the anniversary of my adopting Hilda from H.O.P.E.. I know because someone I used to volunteer with there e-mailed me after seeing my blog. Apparently, she was checking on who had linked to their website and the post at Diary of a Network Geek, four years ago, where I talked about adopting my darling girl, was one of the prominent links. If you’re in Houston, and thinking about adopting a dog, or cat, H.O.P.E. is definately the way to go. A great organization that I’m proud to pay dues to annually, even if I don’t have the time to volunteer for them right now.

So, in any case, I hope one of those things made you smile a bit on this Friday. Either way, enjoy your weekend!

Today is William Gibson’s Birthday!

For those of you who have been hiding under a rock for the past twenty years, or have been freshly cloned, William Gibson is the primary progenitor of the cyberpunk movement. He’s generally credited with coining the term “cyberspace” and popularizing a somewhat more realistic, if somewhat bleak, view of the future.
He also ran away to Canada in 1968 to avoid the draft. Which is the only bad thing I can say about him. I otherwise admire his work and thought processes. Certainly his literature is beyond compare. I admire his work very much and occasionally will reread some of his short stories, just to capture the feel of his prose.

Anyway, celebrate his birthday with a little science-fiction in thanks for what he’s done for the genre.

Well, cancer seems to be on my mind this week.

Go figure, right?
Well, it’s been a long week and I’m tired, but I have two fun links for you regarding cancer. The first is a link to the National Children’s Cancer Society educational publication page, which includes a cancer coloring book called “Sammie’s New Mask: A Coloring Book for Friends of Children with Cancer“.
The second link is to The Adventures of Captain Chemo and the Chemo Command. I’ll let you make your own judgements about both of these, but they struck my strange sense of humor. I know they’re trying, but I think they can do better on the “fun” links for cancer.

Hmm, maybe I should put together a cancer coloring book myself as I go through all this. Might fill some time and keep me amused.
Anyway, it’s the best I can do this week. Better links next week, I promise. Until then, enjoy your weekend. Hell, enjoy every day.

You didn’t think I was going to let an unidentified mass in my lung keep me from posting some Friday Fun Links, did you?  (If that doesn’t make sense to you, go read my other blog, Diary of a Network Geek.)
Of course, I queued this post up last night and I had to work two and a-half hours late to get a couple of circuits squared away for a cutover we’re doing on my phone system, so that might have had an effect on what I picked this week.
The theme is computers and zany fun.
First, we have a link to Things Not To Do In A Server Room. Sadly, at one time or another, I’ve done most of these things. Hey, when you’re working by yourself to string cable for an entire company, things just happen!
And, having users that Abuse Their Computers Through Neglect doesn’t help things, either. I have to warn you, one of the pictures at that link is totally disgusting, so make sure not to look at it too close to lunch.
I tell you, it’s enough to make you want to Smash Your Computer To Bits, and that’s just what the people did who submitted the pictures on that last link. Reminds me of a movie I know that just happens to be like my life, except I have no Jennifer Anniston to round things out. Ah, well, maybe one day…
And, finally, just to end things on a happy note, here’s a link to pictures of Office and Computer Pranks. Now, I’ve never done anything quite like these, but there was that one time that I wrapped a guy’s cubicle in police crime scene tape after he freaked over a spam that claimed the FBI were on to him. Yeah, that probably was unreasonably cruel. But, it was fun.

So, think happy thoughts as you click your Friday Fun Links. I’ll probably be talking to my pulmonary specialist as you read these, but don’t let that keep you from having a great Friday!

Actually, to be more specific, 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army.

I cannot believe I’ve never posted this as a Friday Fun Link. This is a list of 213 things that a soldier was either specifically told he could not do, or that he heard another soldier told that he could not do. And, it’s funny. Every last one of the 213 things is funny. In fact, they get more funny the more you consider them.
Some of my favorites include:
7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with “I recently had an experience I just had to write you about….”
179. On Army documents, my race is not “Other”.
203. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.

Now, it’s Friday, so why not go read the rest? And follow the links he’s got there to support the troops. They need it now as much as they ever have.
Have a great Friday!

"Never tell your girlfriend that her diet's not working."

Today is the birthday of novelist and critic Anthony Burgess

He was born John Anthony Burgess Wilson in Manchester, England on this day in 1917. Though he had written several novels early in his career, none of them were particularly successful. His career took a different tur, however, when, in 1959, he began to suffer from severe headaches and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The doctor told him he only had one year to live. The diagnosis turned out to be incorrect. However, Burgess wrote five novels in that following year, the year he believed to be his last.

Though he wrote and edited a large body of work, including a fair selection of non-fiction, he’s best known for his novel A Clockwork Orange, which is perhaps most famous for the slang language he invented specifically for that work, called Nadsat.

This week’s theme is crazy pictures on the Internet.

Now, before you start to worry, there’s nothing pornographic here, okay? Well, unless you have a fetish for fezes (fezis? fezi?) or girls drinking tea. Hey, stranger things have happened! Trust your Uncle Jim on that one, okay?
So, without further ado, here is a link to the Fez Pool on Flickr. Yes, that’s right. Pictures of people wearing a fez. Note how many are acually from the Shriners? Shriners are all brother Freemasons, just like me. Though, I haven’t actually gone on to join the Shrine myself as it can get costly.
Next, you guessed it, girls drinking tea! Or, as the site calls itself, Tea Birds. For those of you unfamiliar, “bird” is UK slang for “woman”. Makes more sense now, doesn’t it? Oh, and watch out for the links on that site. The one that takes you to Babes with Books might not be safe for work. Though, oddly, the one labelled Women with Wine IS work safe! Who would have thunk it?
In a completely different vein, also from Flickr, Mickey Mouse Croation Liver Paste? Really? Why? And how is it that people don’t think they’re eating rat?
Speaking of eating rat, how about a picture of the most polydactyl cat ever? This cutie has six toes on each of his back paws and an amazing seven on each of his front paws! According to the article, it helps him climb very well!

Okay, so it wasn’t the most inspired Friday Fun Links, but, cut me some slack, I’ve got pneumonia! And, yes, this also appeared on my other blog, Diary of a Network Geek.