Fantasist's Scroll

Hey, it’s not too early to get this for Christmas!
Last week, I was talking about a little “hair of the dog”, so it seems like an appropriate time to mention the coolest stuffed toy I have seen in a long time: The Transforming Werewolf Plush. I mean, a toy that turns inside-out and makes a whole other toy?! They didn’t have stuff this cool when I was a kid! This rates right up there with the Cthulhu Plush Slippers and the Cthulhu Claus as my “most lusted after, but totally senseless, gift item”. Another new favorite, is the Giant Tube of Plush Polyhedron Dice, but that’s not as cool as the werewolf. Ah, now, if only I had someone to buy them for me…
Oh, well, maybe I’ll get them for myself next year!

Oh, wow, I could have used this in college!
Normally, I talk about whisky, as that’s my preferred drink, but this week, I’m thinking about beer. Or, something rather like it. You see, some genius at Nestle has invented, and patented, coffee-based beer. Ah, the joy of beer with caffeine and a hint of coffee taste. According to the article, the drink “pours and foams like beer, but smells of strong coffee and packs a concentrated caffeine kick.” So, you can get that double buzz from both the suds and the juice, as it were. A little “hair of the dog that bit you“. Wowzer, I could have used this the morning after a buddy and I split five pitchers of beer between the two of us, in just under four hours. Lord, I get woozy just thinking about that one.
Say, I wonder how this beer-coffee goes with cold pizza?

The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, fifth edition, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny:

Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 5
11. I entered the probability equation into my TI-89 Titanium Graphing calculator and it predicted you would go out with me, see! (hold up calculator)
10. What’s a nice girl like you doing on an unsecured webcam like this?
9. Can I have a large coffee with sugar and your phone number, please?
8. Do you prefer the static or expanding universe theory more? Because, since I first saw you, I’m expanding.
7. That Princess Leia slave girl outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
6. You make me want to be an honest man, and register all my shareware.
5. Yes, that is a real light saber replica in my pocket, but I’m still happy to see you.
4. You’re so beautiful, I’d take my Steve Austin action figure out of its original packaging for you.
3. Do you want to come back to my place, and we can prank call George Lucas?
2. I don’t mean to disturb you, but Heisenberg’s Uncertainly Principle said I already did that by observing you.
1. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven, because p=mv and your velocity after falling that far would be incredible.

And, that’s the last of them folks. Unless, of course, you all want to shoot me some new ones!

If you have dogs, you have got to see this!
You may have seen what you think of as fancy dog cookies in PetSmart. You know, the ones that are shaped like bones, but have frosting on them. But, I am here to tell you these are low rent compared to what the nice people at Pink Poodle Gourmet and Design have. I mean, go look at these things and you’ll see. They look almost too good to give to your dog. (Sorry, Hilda.) They’re better looking, and tasting, than a lot of cookies made for people. And, yes, before you get all wierded out by the fact that I ate dog cookies, they are made from all human-edible ingredients. They’re also quite tasty. At least, all the ones I’ve tried personally are, but I haven’t risked any liver flavored ones yet. They do sell from the website, but, you might want to find a local supplier so you don’t have to deal with shipping. (You can sniff them out at their webpage.)

Okay, okay, you caught me. This is actually a shameless plug for the darling woman that I’ve been seeing. This amazing lady has run her own business for more than two years and paid all her bills with it. Obviously, she works very, very hard at her business and her product really is amazing. I mean, I understand the rudiments of making a cookie, dog cookies even, but what she does… Well, it’s the difference between me building with Lincoln Logs and her building 30 storey sky scrapers. Really, I cannot urge you enough to go check out her work: Pink Poodle Gourmet and Design And, no, this is not a bribe to get more pie. Though, it’d be well worth it. Her pie is delicious!

Look, kids, it’s been a brutal week for your Uncle Jim, so we need us some fun.
I won’t go into the gorey details, but it seems like anything that didn’t go wrong in my life this week either went wrong in someone else’s life I know or is about to go wrong, so it’s just been a long, damn week. But, today is Friday. The weekend is almost here and you can start your fun early with some of these links.
I dipped into my collection of weird links, and boy have got some doosies, to bring you a little Friday Fun.
First, there’s an old favorite, Spamusement. This guy draws very funny cartoons based on spam that we’ve all gotten one time or another. It’s silly, goofy and always makes me chuckle.
Then, there’s this wild casemod by, well, by someone in Japan, I guess since the entire page is in Japanese. It’s a PC sphere and looks cool. I think there’s instructions for making it, or buying it, somewhere on this page. Good luck figuring out which and where!
Next, we have something to make the sinners repent: The Bible Prophecy Page! Yes, now you, too, can bring the rantings of Bible Prophecy fringe groups to the conveniece of your own home via the Internet. What will they think of next!?!
And, for those of you who are homeless wanderers, or just on vactaion and away from you computers, here’s the Cyber Cafe Search Engine. It’ll help you find your next Internet fix away from home. Of course, if you’re looking for a place to check e-mail because you don’t have a computer then you’ll have to find that first spot on your own…

Well, whatever, these were just four semi-random links I grabbed out of my mess o’ weird sites. What the heck, kids, it’s Friday and Uncle Jim says “Click the links!”

Better questions.
That’s the answer I give to people who ask why I know things they don’t. I ask better questions than they do. In fact, I think people often find it frustrating that I ask some of the questions I do. Things like, “So, if it doesn’t work, why do you keep doing it?”, or “Yeah, but why have you always done it that way?”. But, there’s always someone who asks better questions than I do. Take for instance the folks at the World Question Center. Now, if you really want to get your mind all bent out of shape, go read some of these questions. Then, think about what they mean. Really. Think about it.
(And, yes, this first appeared on my other blog. It’s Friday and I’m not even in town, so cut me some slack!)

Then go have a drink. It is, after all, Friday!
(And, yes, this originally appeared on my other blog.)

No, for a change, that’s not a metaphor.
According to The Scotsman.com, appropriately, someone is working on a “warp” drive. A physicist at the Applied Sciences University in Salzgitter, Germany, and a former chief of aerodynamics at the European Space Agency, Professor Jochem Hauser, who’s one of the scientists putting forth the idea, warned that they’re in the very early stages of this project, but indicated that an propulsion system based on ideas first developed by the late scientist Burkhard Heim in the 1950s is possible. The drive would work by creating an intense magnetic field that, in theory, would produce a gravitational field and result in thrust for a spacecraft.
That is the catch, though. It’s all theory. Now, there is a somewhat mysterious “Z Machine” that was created by the US Department of Energy that could generate the kind of magnetic fields required to drive the engine, so it is possible that some very interesting tests might be run in the near future. Apparently, NASA and the US Airforce took notice of this work after Prof Hauser and an Austrian colleague, Walter Droscher, wrote a paper called “Guidelines for a space propulsion device based on Heim’s quantum theory”.
Now, all they need to do is get a Scot on their maintenance crew and they’ll be all set.

The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, fourth edition, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny:

Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 4
11. I have so much love to give you’ll have to pipe it through more.
10. Did you make a Google Bomb? Whatever I search for, it’s you I find.
9. Do you work for a TelCom? Because I bet you’d be good at pulling cable.
8. I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up.
7. Would you like to play Scrabble with me? I am tired of playing with myself.
6. You compute me.
5. Girl, I wish I was your differential, because then I’d be touching all your curves.
4. But enough about me, let’s talk about mu.
3. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.
2. You’ve stolen the ASCII to my heart.
1. You must’ve been made by Intel to be that hot!

And, just as a side note, if you’re in Houston, female, over the age of twenty-one and any of these would work on you, drop me a line! 😉